vulnerability

how long has it been?
5 long months have passed since the day i last blogged.
Perhaps it is just the stale and boring life i have that made me lose the urge to pen down things that happened around me.
Perhaps so many things happened to me but i was too lazy to pen them down.
Perhaps things that happened aint suppose to be here for u guys to read.
Perhaps..

vulnerability?
i now witness a guy whom i know, being diagnosed with cancer.
he aint a very close guy to me, yet somehow i experience how vulnerable life can get.
just when you have it all planned out, setting out goals to accomplished in ur life, ur life came crushing down, and death seems imminent.
how depressing and frustrating can that be?
he is strong, as strong as gravity pulls all of us to Earth.
somehow, i came to realise or should i say am enlightened:
life's not all about achieving the goals you set in life, its also about enjoying what you have NOW.

spending time with ya seems so different as to with my fellow frens, but to ya, i am just another fren to hang out with.
one side of me yearns for more, ya reciprocation, the other side just kept saying, just treasure the moments ya spent together, for it will not last.
the other side triumph.

ORD, 3 letters that seemed so distant when i first went sembawang camp now seems even further.
reason? for that of all my frens, sec sch sqd mates and JC dudes have already ORD.
seeing them ORD just makes the next 5 months even harder to pass, longer, more dreadful.

and oh, thinking about ORDing, i am going to start school on 28th April 2008 at SMU doing double in accountancy and social science in pscyhology. damn am i looking forward to this very day.

but before that, i suppose the next big thing is my birthday chalet. looking for an available chalet at such peak period aint easy. hopefully i can find one.

actually quite a number of things happened:
falling out with my colleagues in army
going to liren's birthday party
going to wenlin's and kenneth's bday party at rain and dbl o
dancing with gina at dbl o that nite
planning to go genting but futile
going regular supper with frens
catching movies with heng
going liren's place for kbox
and the list goes on and on...

i aint a happening guy, i just feel lone. lone. not alone. lone.

love language

i learnt something from heng at thomson liquid kitchen last friday night.
that is love language.

just like the languages we use to communicate everyday, love has its own unique set of languages.
time. gift. words. actions. touch

time: some treasure the time spent together the most, what they are doing are not important. the most important thing is they are physically together, side by side.

gift: some express their love through gifts. the more gifts they shower their love ones with, the more they love them.

words: some use words to tell their love ones just how much and how deep the love is. that's why there are love letters.

actions: action speaks louder than words. thats how some express their love with. they execute every single thing they promised.

touch: physical intimacy to some is the utmost importance. and the rest about 'touch' need not be elaborated.

again, just how we use many languages to communicate, english, chinese, german, japanese blah blah blah, all of us has a different set of ranking for the 5 love languages!

heng says my MAIN love language is time. which i think is quite true.
and i think it's quite safe to say that for a couple or even frens to stay together, they must share the same love language or the least compromise and accomodate the different love languages each use.

food for thought

not really that sad.

hmmmm.. she said its both..
i mean i am disappointed and sad of course..
but not that VERY sad..
at least i can say to myself: to me it's more abt knowing she is happy, not having her by my side..

life goes on doesnt it?

high hopes

i just love the way she talks to me..
i just like the way we spend time together..

but i don't wanna set high hopes..
coz the more you hope for something, the disappoint is greater..
what can i say..
i have low self-esteem..

nonchalent

oh no oh no.. im so old already! today's the first day in my 20s.. haha!
no more ppl calling me xiaodi..
no more saying "he's still a kid, forgive him"..
no more daddy mummy asking me if i have enough money to spend..
but one more year to independence and R21 shows.. haha! =)

anyway, my 20th birthday was just like any other: no surprises, no special someone, nothing different from the previous years.. but as usual, there's always frens and family there to wish u me HAPPY BIRTHDAY! =)
maybe i should start with thanking all who sent me birthday smses:
here goes, thank you
wk
jheng
xieqiang
rebecca
aunt lily
adibah
aunt shu
rachel
liren
sis
gina
vincent & eric
mian
janice
tiffany
laixing
paul
cheewei
clifton
thankz to all!

my birthday was like ay other sundays.. tuition in the morning til afternoon.. =(
but in the evening, my mummy got this big blueberry choc cake for me.. yummmmzzzzzsssss!
=P
she also bought me a can of abalone! wahhaha..
and i think the best present was from my bro! he got me this white colour zinc sling bag.. it's really damn nice.. but unfortunately i can't show u all.. coz someone borrowed my digicam and refused to return.. ARGH!
and after which, the only fren that celebrated my bday with me.. cwk!
haha... we went kbox together! he keep saying 2 of us go out machiam like gay couple.. but i don't really care..
was really touched though.. having him to celebrate with me.. too bad jheng's in tekong.. if not 3 of us would have an even better time! (wonder if jheng remembers my bday?)

tomolo's a big day.. only few know.. the lesser the better.. hopefully the results will be positive.. =/

reminiscence

was looking through some of my childhood photos just now..
it sure brings back nice memories..
... ...

'do i have a life?'
i have been asking myself that question for quite some time..
i haven really find the answer yet though..

this weekend has been quite a fulfilling one i guess.. =)
15/9/2006 was my last day at OETI after 3 months of technical training..
and that same day will be the last for plt4 to be together..
i recall
the times we laughed,
the times we swear,
the times we disagree with each other,
the times we talked abour practically under the sun,
the times we lean on each other's shoulders (sound so gay! haha!),
the times we fool around with one another,
the times i shared with my buddy wj yong! =P

and i am certainly glad we spent the nite out at marina square that very same day..
bowling, shopping, dinner at kenny roger's, drinking at esplanade..
outing with a bunch of army guys issnt as bad as you think!

















weijiang with his out of the bed look..
he doesnt look this cool in no4!
















first time at kenny roger's
where's chris? =/
















can you see master ma? wahahha!

saturday evening was an eventful one as well!
went to the airport to send jiayun off to london!
london school of economics wor!
i wish i can be like her.. haha.. but wait long long!

so do i have a 'life'?
i need a life..

in search..

kboxing will be different without peepz like mian!

after the conversation with mian on national day evening, i feel i really need to say something here..

i am intrigued, by the way how people around us can affect us..
some of us model after people whom we respect.. attempting to mimic each and every action of that particular person..
some of us try as much as possible not to pick up bad habits, upon seeing its consequences in others..
some of us, just sub-consciously, gets affected by some others people..
and there are also some who just live a life of their own, without the influence of the people around..
(am i talking sense? oh wells..)

enough of my own philosophy..

UNPREDICTABLE, thats ALL i can say about army life for me at least..
it seems like a long time since i was enlisted, but if i count the days properly, i am merely in the army for only 4 months, and that means 20 more months to go..
many people say i should use this time to really reflect and give a deep consideration and thought in what i wanna do in future and at the same time upgrade and enjoy myself..
but the unpredictability of army life just prevents me for doing so..
i have so many plans, to learn driving, to give tuition, to take up a psychological diploma, to go fro SAT exams, blah blah blah.. but being the organised me, i just cant embark on any if i dun have a proper plan!
yes i am going through a tech course now, but soon, i will be going for my OJE and i am not sure where i will be posted to, whether its stay in or out.. after which will be back to the same old camp and then out to some other camp for perm posting..
and that means i cant look for weekday evening tuition coz i cant commit, cant pursue my psychological diploma.. nor take SAT.. coz there's no way i can plan my schedule properly! argh..

at least i learnt driving, and booked my test in nov.. soon i will be able to drive..

shall sleep now.. hopefully the next time i blog will not be in 3 months time..